“On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there, and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. When the wine was gone, Jesus’ mother said to him, “They have no more wine.”
“Woman, why do you involve me?” Jesus replied. “My hour has not yet come.” His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.” Nearby stood six stone water jars, the kind used by the Jews for ceremonial washing, each holding from twenty to thirty gallons. Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water”; so they filled them to the brim. Then he told them, “Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet.” They did so, and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine. He did not realize where it had come from, though the servants who had drawn the water knew. Then he called the bridegroom aside and said, “Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now.” What Jesus did here in Cana of Galilee was the first of the signs through which he revealed his glory; and his disciples believed in him. After this he went down to Capernaum with his mother and brothers and his disciples. There they stayed for a few days.” John 2:1-12 How often are we Mary in the beginning of this passage? “Jesus, I’m missing this!” “Jesus, I don’t have this” “Jesus, I don’t know what I am going to do because I am missing this.” How many times do we demand that Jesus gives us what we think we need when we think we need it? Whatever we are “missing” - a successful career, marriage, children, financial stability - we assume that we know best. Just like Mary, we see that our “wine” is missing and begin to freak out because we need it right here and right now. But what if we read ahead, and followed her example for the rest of the story. What if, instead of seeking out that wine for ourselves, we trust that Jesus will provide it for us in the best timing? In verse 5, Mary instructs the servants to do whatever Jesus tells them to. Then, in verse 7, Jesus instructs the servants to fill 30-gallon jars with water. Keep in mind, the servants were probably bewildered at this point. “We are at this wedding with no wine, and instead of just going to find some more wine, this guy is telling us to fill jars with water?” They had no clue why Jesus asked them to do that. Everything in human logic would tell them that this was a completely illogical thing to do in this situation. But they did it anyway. Jesus goes even further and tells them to draw some of the water out and take it to the master of the banquet. “Jesus, you want us to give the master of the banquet WATER?” This instruction probably also made no sense to the servants, but they did it anyway. And then (spoiler!) the water was wine! In the waiting for our metaphorical “wine”, whatever that wine is, God may ask us to do some things that don’t make sense to us. Maybe it’s moving to a new city, taking a new position, or changing our college major. We don’t know why God calls us to do these things in the waiting, but what if - like the servants - we just did it anyway? In the waiting for your dream career, take pride in the work you do right now. Fill the jars with water. In the waiting for that marriage, embrace the gift of singleness that God gives. Fill the jars with water. In the waiting for graduation, do your school work as if you are working for the Lord. Fill the jars with water. We may not know why we are filling the jars with water, but Jesus knows exactly what he is doing with us. What is cool about the waiting period of life is that Jesus is working behind the scenes to do something miraculous in us - whether we see it or not. He won’t always just give us what we think we need, he knows better. He gives us better. In verse 10, after the master of the feast drinks the water that Jesus turned into wine, he says “Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now”. Did you read that? Not only did Jesus provide the wine, but he provided better wine than the servants could have provided for themselves. While we are filling the jars with water, Jesus is changing the narrative. He’s making it better. He’s giving us better wine than we could have even wanted for ourselves. And while we fill those jars, he is changing us from the inside out. Maybe he completely changes the desires of your heart. Maybe he switches the path you imagined yourself being on. Maybe everything stayed the same but you grew in him just a little bit more. In the end, either way, Jesus not only gives, but he gives in abundance. And while we are willing to settle for the cheap wine, Jesus wants us to have better. So my encouragement to you in the waiting is to fill those jars with water. Do so joyfully and expectantly, because Jesus is working behind the scenes to bring you the best wine he has to offer.
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College graduation is an exciting time. You’ve spent the last 16 or so years engulfed in a systematic schedule of classes, assignments, and structure, and here you are. Finally free! Yet, it doesn’t feel free. It feels trapped. It feels like you have all these directions to look in, but each direction is blocked with someone different telling you what you should do with your life. “Do something within your major.” “You need to find a financially fulfilling job now.” “Do something fun, you’re still so young!” “Take the first opportunity that feels right, it doesn’t have to last forever.”
Before you know it, the freedom you once felt from constant class schedules has been replaced with a feeling of drowning in everyone’s expectations – including your own. You never are prepared for it, I don’t think. Before you know it, little bits of what everyone keeps pounding into your ears stick, and you can’t tell the difference between what you want and what everyone else wants from you. All of the expectations, yours included, get jumbled together until your brain looks like a mixture of 16 different play-doh colors that you cringe at while babysitting. There is a lot of pressure on this time of life, too. The 20’s. They are supposed to be the best, most freeing years. They are also supposed to be the beginning of the rest of your life. They are also supposed to be when you begin to settle down with a significant other or a family. However, they are also supposed to be the years where you can run wild before getting too serious. During our whole lives from elementary school moving forward, we are striving for this age, yet everyone who is older seems to want to go back to these years. All the while, people who are actually in their 20’s are losing their ever-loving minds every step of the way. The never-ending cycle of comparison feels stronger than ever. One friend is a concert photographer. Another is getting married this year. This friend just went backpacking through Europe. Oh, and that friend just got hired into a big marketing firm right out of college. You aren’t sure which life you would rather be living, but you are certain that yours isn’t quite measuring up. Each step feels riskier than the next. It feels like if you take one wrong move, you could be set back 5 years. Yet, sometimes being in the midst of the pressure creates fear of taking any steps whatsoever. It’s supposed to feel pressure-free, but it doesn’t. In reality, you don't even have a clue about what you want. Even though you can make whatever decision you want to make, you don’t even know where to look first. It’s like being a kid in the candy store and seeing all of the delicious options, but then weighing the pros and cons of every piece. “This one will probably give me a cavity quicker, but this one is more expensive. This one will give me that funny feeling in my jaw, but this one will turn my tongue blue.” In the end, the kid just ends up standing in the store for too long, staring at the possibilities but not taking a step in any direction. I’m not necessarily sure what to make of all of this. I just had to get it out. It all sounds pretty dramatic, but that’s on brand for me. I also know that every single feeling I listed up there is exactly that – a feeling. The truth is that there really isn’t pressure at all. One door doesn’t lead to a path to nowhere; it leads to several more doors that will take you where you want to end up. The friends you envy on Instagram for their perfect new marriage or their dazzling career choice have weights of their own on them. The truth is simpler than we make it out to be. We can keep moving, and everything is going to turn out okay. We can ponder the pros and cons, we can look at what everyone else is doing, we can pick apart every decision to the smallest piece, but if we don’t continue moving, we won’t get anywhere. Make the list of pros and cons but keep walking. Congratulate that friend on their job offer but keep skipping on your own path. Just keep moving. The truth is that you are doing exactly how you are supposed to be doing. You are on the exact path you need to be on. Your 20’s aren’t meant to look like theirs. So what if you don’t know what yours are supposed to look like, figure it out one step at a time! Even those who seem like they have it all together are still working things out for themselves. The biggest thing to lean on is knowing that the unknown is okay. It’s okay to have no idea. It’s okay to not know what your next 5 or 10 years will look like. Have faith that whatever happens, you will figure it out. Have faith in God. Have faith in yourself. Have faith in the people around you. From one “20 something” to the next, I know you’re freaking out. I feel it, too. All the comparison and the expectations and the pressure I mentioned before; I feel it in my bones. But we’re gonna make it. Don’t look ahead too much. Don’t look at what other people are doing too much. Be excited to learn what you don’t know. Spend a little extra time soaking in the moments that make you feel alive. There will be plenty of them. Write them down. Photograph them. It’s those moments that make your 20’s something to remember – the other stuff is just extra. We got this, we’re gonna be okay. As Christians, we are often tempted by the things of the world. Whether it’s money, relationships, career ambitions, jealousy, or anything else, there’s always going to be something trying to convince us that God isn’t enough. It can be easy to fight off temptation that is harmful to ourselves and/or others, but what happens when that temptation comes in the form of something a little more discreet? What happens when our emotions get the best of us? What happens when the enemy uses scripture to try and manipulate us? Good news, friends. Jesus went through the same thing.
In Matthew 4:1-11, Jesus is led into the wilderness where He is tempted by Satan 3 times. Each temptation (or test) came in the form of something different that logically made sense. Let’s discuss:
This first temptation came in the form of an emotion, even a need. Jesus was fasting and hungry, so Satan tempted Him with food. At a glance, it would make sense for Jesus to take the offer, as food is a physical need that we have as humans. However, giving into that temptation would be Jesus saying that he needs food more than he needs God.
Jesus was tempted the second time with scripture. This is a huge one, because the enemy can easily manipulate and twist the truth to test us. Satan spoke the Word of God to Jesus in an attempt to take his eyes off of what mattered. Of course, Jesus had faith that God would save him if he jumped off of the mountain, but he knew that God shouldn’t be put to the test.
This time around, Jesus was tempted with the world. He was shown the splendor and majesty of the kingdoms of the world and offered it all. Everything in our human bodies would tell us that life would be perfect for us if we had that job, that car, that relationship, that body, that life, etc. Our flesh tells us that material things are what we need for a successful life. Jesus was tempted with the same thing, but he knew that there is only one God who is worthy of all worship and praise. He didn't let the idol of material things take authority over his need for God. In each of these situations, Satan used seemingly good things to tempt Jesus. It wasn’t just a matter of “do I murder this person and take their money, or continue being poor”. It was making the decision that, although these things are good, God is better. We are often faced with similar situations where we are tempted with things that seem to be in our best interest. So how do we draw the line, notice temptation when it’s happening, and resist it forcefully? 1.We stay in the Word This is CRUCIAL. Scripture is what God has given us to know Him. Scripture shows us how to discern the right from the wrong, the good from the bad, and temptation from the truth. If you read over Matthew 4:1-11, you will notice that with each temptation, Jesus fights back with scripture. He didn’t ask 20 people for opinions. He didn’t weigh the pros and cons. He stayed in prayer and depended on the Word of God. If we don’t stay in the Word, we will not have discernment when temptation disguises itself as opportunities. 2.We stay in prayer This one goes right along with staying in the Word. You can memorize scripture front to back, and still not understand its truth. This is why we need the Holy Spirit to guide us through it. Even Satan knew scripture – and he used it to test Jesus. The difference is, Jesus had the Spirit guiding him to the truth. If we want to resist temptation when it comes, we have to lean in on the fact that prayer has to be paired with Scripture. Otherwise we won’t know whether a Word is from God or from the enemy. 3.We stay in control A better way to say this is that God stays in control. What I mean by this is that we have the power of the holy spirit within us. Toward the end of the passage, and in response to the third temptation, Jesus says, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘worship the Lord your God, and serve him only’” All Jesus has to say is “No, I worship God and God only, away from me” and Satan flees. It’s time we realize that God has given us that power, too. We have the power of the Spirit in us, and that power has Satan shaking in his boots and running for cover. Living in a fallen world is hard. Fighting emotions and temptation is hard. But know that you are not fighting alone. Jesus was tempted, too, and God is with you now just as much as he was with Jesus then. If you’re struggling with feeling tested, talk to a trusted mentor who will lead you back to God. Stay in prayer and stay in the Word, even when you don’t feel like it. I promise, you can persevere and come out on the other side closer to God than ever before. With all my love, I want to share something that has been pretty heavy on my heart to write about lately. The general consensus of it is that God is the same even when we are in seasons of doubt, dryness, and defeat.
It's been a spiritually dry season, y'all. I'm going to be completely vulnerable here and say that I haven't properly spent time in the Word in weeks. As a result, the enemy has been making me feel guilty, which hinders my prayer life. Those things together, plus the million other things I spiral into during these seasons, have made for a rough time with God. It's been super hard for me recently to believe the truth of the Lord over the loudness of the world. Over the past few weeks I have just been repeating lies to myself, which drives me away from where God wants me to be. I almost got to a point of resentment with God, if I'm being honest. Y'all ever get petty with the Lord? Because I get petty with the Lord often. In this particular season I have been so petty that it turned to resentment. I didn't want to go to God with the things I was dealing with. I wanted a tangible and immediate answer. I didn't ignore God, but I talked to him in a way that suggested that it's my way or the highway. The reason I got to this place is because I've been here so many times before. While God always pulls me out of it with as much love and grace as He always does, I was tired of being in that place. Even if the Lord got me out of it, I would just be back in it again later. I was upset with myself and taking it out on God. Luckily, God knows how to shut down my sass, and He does it without a second to lose. Now that you have some background, it's time for the whole point of this post. Even in the midst of actively walking away from God, resenting Him, and avoiding quiet time and prayer - God was everywhere in this season. No matter how much I didn't want to admit it, He was holding me up just as much as He always has. He showed himself to me in my friendships - through the people who bring light into my heart, even if it's only for a second. He has shown his patience in my friends and especially my parents - who have loved me relentlessly no matter how many times I have a breakdown about the same thing or make the same mistakes over and over. He's shown his faithfulness through the fulfillment of past prayers that I had forgotten about. He's shown His intentionality by reminding me how He has gotten me through every season and how He will continue to pull me through a thousand more. He's shown His grace by loving me and calling me pure and blameless, even when I beat myself up the most. Most importantly, He has shown me His almighty power over everything on this Earth. He has reminded me that He has a plan for me and it is infinitely better than what I want to plan for myself. He reminds me that He sees the big picture and I can only see a snapshot. And He did all of this when I wasn't even looking for Him. When I was actively walking away. When I didn't really want anything to do with Him in the moment. That is who God is in our seasons of doubt and downfall, and that is who He is when we are at our highest point. I cannot stop reeling about how good He is when I am not. I cannot stop thanking Him for being who He is constantly and without wavering. The enemy takes advantage of these dry seasons. The enemy takes a hold of whatever part of your heart you will give him and he will hold onto it hard. He will send you into a spiral of anxiety, depression, and hopelessness. He will take a screenshot of your worst day and manipulate you into believing that life is going to be that way forever. He will convince you that there is no hope and that things will never feel better than they do right now. And he can be very good at it sometimes. However, what we have hope in is the fact that we have already given our hearts to someone. We have already been claimed by God, and that claim was set in stone by Jesus. We know whose we are, and the enemy knows it too. No matter how hard the enemy holds on, one little shake from Jesus knocks him right off. It's okay to feel frustrated. It's okay to ask God your toughest questions. It's okay to wonder why certain things happen. It's okay if you feel like you have strayed away a bit. All of that is okay because, regardless of our lapses in judgement, God is always welcoming us back home. He is waiting for us with joy, excitement, love, grace, and forgiveness. There's no disappointment, no anger, no reprimand - just love and adoration for His pure and blameless child. In conclusion, God is good all the time. Whether we want to see it or not, whether or not we are looking for it, He is there. Look for Him in the little spaces. He's there, I promise you He is there. In the midst of reading everyone's reflections on 2018, I can't bring myself to writing one. I'm super thankful for so many things that happened this year and I've made plenty of lists, but I can't help but focus on one other thing: my resolutions for the new year.
I'm usually not one to make resolutions, but I've come up with some that are seemingly realistic. One in particular - the one at the top of my list - seems fitting for a lot more people than just me. So this post is my New Years challenge for you, and it's the most important resolution to me. GIVE YOURSELF GRACE Ask anyone who knows me, I am the last person to go easy on myself. I could probably count on one hand the times this year that I have given myself any sort of grace for anything. As I've noticed in the people around me, I'm not the only one. That's why a goal needs to be set in place. We need to be kinder to ourselves. This begins with knowing that every single one of us has things to offer that no one else has. Comparison has got to stop. What you see on social media is not real. It's formulated and fabricated, and there is no reason we should realistically compare our lives to it. Everyone you compare yourself to is most likely comparing themselves to someone else. We will never be happy with ourselves until we stop the comparison, and focus in on our own qualities. Make a list of the things you love about yourself - especially about your personality - and love them hard. Figure out what you don't like so much and establish whether or not it's something you can control. Tell yourself the truth over and over, even if you don't believe it yet. Love trumps hate every time, and this includes love towards yourself. We also need to be better at letting ourselves feel. It's time to admit that we all have hard days. Sometimes they feel more frequent than the good ones. Instead of dwelling on those days, we need to let ourselves enjoy any part of them that we can. Let yourself have good moments, even if they feel few and far between. On your good days, suck up every bit of it that you can. Be thankful in the moment, and do what you can to document them - journaling, taking pictures or videos, polaroids. Save the good moments so you have some perspective to look back on when the bad days come. Know that bad days are temporary, and everyone has them. It's okay to cry, it's okay to scream, and it's okay to be frustrated that you feel that way. Let me repeat that - what you are feeling is OKAY. But in the midst of the tears, find a small bit of peace in the fact that it's just a day, a week, or a moment. Do whatever you can to make your heart happy and accept bad days for what they are. It's a bad day, not a bad life. Give yourself little victories. Be proud of yourself for taking little steps. Encourage others when they do. There is no success too small to celebrate. Even if you can't tell anyone else, tell me! I'll be happy to celebrate the little things with you. Let's make 2019 the year to end self-deprecating thoughts and be happy with ourselves. Let's make 2019 the year that we stop using the success of others to talk ourselves down. Let's make 2019 the year that we can encourage rather than be jealous of one another. Let's make 2019 the year that we take the power away from anxiety. It won't be instant, but we have until 2020 to do it, so let's reach this resolution! Happy New Year! “He washed our sins white as snow”. We have all heard the saying and we have sung it in church. Sometimes bible verses or motivational sayings can be like a song on the radio. You hear it for the first time and it’s really great, but then it becomes overplayed and you kind of stop appreciating it. The cool thing about the word of God is that no matter how much it is “overplayed”, God always has something new to show you through it. You just have to keep listening. The word of God is LIVING. It’s alive. It is moving with us. I’ve overlooked this saying for too long, so let’s unpack it a little bit.
First, we must understand basic knowledge of Jesus and what He did for us. We have to know that by ourselves we can never “measure up” to God. We are sinners, every single one of us. We all have fallen short and we will continue to fall short – these are just facts. However, God sent His son as the ultimate sacrifice for us. When Jesus died on the cross, He WAS the offering for every one of us. He wanted us to be free from the guilt and shame we feel when we sin. Freedom like that is ours for the taking – Jesus paid an expensive price for us to have it. But there are things we need to keep in mind if we want to live in the freedom that God wants us to live in. While we don’t have to sacrifice burnt offerings for forgiveness, repentance and obedience are key. This is GOOD NEWS! Let’s talk about repentance. It seems like something so simple, but it is something that I know I tend to feel like I can skip over sometimes. The moment that we forget the importance of repentance, is the moment we start to take advantage of God’s grace. It is because of the magnitude of God’s grace and forgiveness that Christians start to live with the motto “I do this, this, and that, but it’s okay because God always forgives me.” This is not how we grow in our faith and that is not how we live in freedom. We are free when we realize how bad sin is and we acknowledge that we shouldn’t feel good about it. We are free when we realize that Jesus didn’t bleed out for us so that we could take advantage of God’s grace. Jesus died so that we could have a personal connection with God, and with that comes the responsibility of repenting when we do Him wrong. When we repent for our sins, God sees us as clean. He sees us as pure. He sees Jesus. But we have to repent. We can’t skip over that step, and we can’t keep living like we don’t have to do it. There is another step to living in freedom, and that step is obedience. It comes after repenting, and it can be easier said than done. Obedience works with repentance, there is no prioritizing one over the other. Repentance without obedience still leads to us taking advantage of God’s grace. It’s like doing a friend wrong, apologizing for it, and then doing it again. The repetition of that cycle makes a relationship weak, and that rings true for our relationship with God as well. When we repent, it’s up to us to not make the same decisions over and over again. The Lord will assist us in this with the help of the Holy Spirit, but we are either receptive or we aren’t. We make choices every day to listen to the world or to listen to God. We make choices in what we watch, listen to, and read. If we want to live in freedom, we have to continuously make the choice to listen to God. We have to let Him pour into us, and we have to listen. Choosing this is not always easy, but it’s possible and it’s what God wants for us. Take it day by day – decision by decision. We will mess up sometimes, and that’s okay. When you mess up, you take it up with God and then you move forward and make a better choice next time. God knows your heart, and He is patient with you. A third thing I want to mention in regards to being free from sin is to talk about it with someone. Yes, we always want to talk about things with God, but God gave us community to live life with. If you find yourself living with sin, temptation, or anything of the sort, please talk to a friend, family member, or mentor that will help guide you in the direction of the Lord. “It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light.” (Ephesians 5:12-14) When you speak your sins out loud, they become exposed. Everything exposed becomes visible, and when it is visible it can become a light. When we keep our sins bottled up inside and try to deal with them on our own, they will destroy us. But when we speak them out loud, they are light, and the enemy no longer has a hold on them. That is when healing really can begin. This is where you feel freedom. This is where you begin to see that your experience can help to heal others. This is where God uses our experiences for His glory. Repentance, obedience, and exposure. These are a few of the keys to getting rid of guilt and shame and living in freedom. If you want to talk to someone, but don’t feel like you have someone – I am here. E-mail me, message me on social media, text me if you have my number. You deserve to live a life of freedom. You are worthy of it. You are called to it. Never let that slip your mind. Jesus has washed our sins white as snow, and it's about time we start living like it. This seems like a blatantly obvious statement. Of course, we’re not God. Have you ever thought about it in the application of your life though? It’s easy to say that statement when things are going well, but what about when the lines are blurred? What about when we panic about the things that we can’t control? What about when we are caught in a storm, and we’re crying out to God to take us out of it because we think we know what is best? In those moments it sure doesn’t seem like we are accepting of the fact that He is God and we are not. In all honesty, we want the control. We say that we trust God, but we still want to call all the shots. It makes sense why we do, but there are so many reasons why God having control is better. At all times. In all circumstances.
As I was journaling this morning (after a long week or so without doing it) I was just pouring everything out at once. All my stress and all my worries were seamlessly flowing across all 4 pages. It seems so easy to vent about all of the overwhelming stresses of life, but it doesn’t seem as natural for us to talk about the good things. That’s why it’s so important to listen to the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit brings us back to a mood of thankfulness and praise – which, in all things, is our greatest weapon. The world tells us to dwell on what’s wrong, while God tells us to focus on the good – big or small. Through every negative thought I wrote down, God reminded me that my circumstances are not mine to control. Not only that, but He also reminded me that I wouldn’t want to have control. If my natural reaction to things is to overreact, why would I want all the control? If I tend to lean on feelings more than I lean on faith, why would I want the control? If I cannot see the big picture the way that God does, why would I want the control? None of my decisions, nothing I have accomplished, and no character trait of mine leads me to believe that I should be able to control anything. Where does this leave us, then, when we are in a tough position? It means that when God has us in the rain, we say “let it pour”. It means acknowledging that even when things look bad to us, God has a bigger picture. This doesn’t invalidate our feelings during a season of difficulty and pain. It just reminds us that we can’t let those feelings of worry, panic, and sadness run our lives. We can’t let feelings get in the way of walking the way God calls us to walk. We take those feelings for what they are and turn our eyes to God. We remind ourselves that feelings are fleeting, and God is constant. The next time you find yourself in a hard position, I encourage you to take a second to just be still. Find 10 minutes in the middle of the chaos to just sit and rest. Allow God to reset your perspective and remind you that you don’t have to control things. In a tough season, try your best to only focus on the 24 hours ahead of you. That’s all we have to worry about, God can take care of the rest. Break down your thoughts until they don’t seem so big and taunting. Rest for as much time as you can give yourself, and watch how God uses that small bit of rest to replenish your mind. He’s in control. Rest in that. And remember that He is God, you are not. I've become quite fond of butterflies recently. I mean they have always been beautiful but I have a new found appreciation for them because of an analogy I read about.
Hannah Brencher, in her book Come Matter Here (a must-read, ask me if you want to borrow it. It's been very well-loved), talks about a cheesy butterfly poster her tap teacher gave her. The poster had a quote on it that said "You must be willing to surrender who you are for what you could become." Hannah then goes on to talk about how she once read that caterpillars sometimes go through a stage where instead of becoming a butterfly they decide to hold off until the next Spring. The author of the book explained this stage as a "clinging stage". The caterpillars are holding onto their old life and resisting change because of the circumstances around them. This stage, called diapause, made me feel closer to caterpillars than ever before. I like this little tid-bit of knowledge because now every time I see a butterfly I think of it. I think of how there are so many transformations I will go through in life and I remind myself that, even though I'm unsure of what's on the other side, I'll be better for it. I'm the first one to hold on to something comfortable to avoid uncertainty. Sometimes I just need a reminder about what happens to the caterpillars that just let go. None of this information is really mine but I wanted to share it because I think it's so beautiful. It's so applicable to so many situations and so many people. Also Hannah is just a really good communicator and I am thankful that she took the time to write this book because it has changed my perspective on more things than just one. I recently moved into a new house. I love this new house and a lot of the things in it. I love the promise it has. People will come in and out of here over the next year or so and I am so excited to provide that place for them. My favorite part, however, is the junk drawer in the kitchen.
You know what this drawer is. It's the drawer that holds the passports but also a flashlight and it's also where you keep sunglasses and those crazy straws you never use. It also holds spare change and ZipLoc bags as well as your dog's leash. You envisioning your drawer in your head? Great. I love my junk drawer because it's ours. It looks like a mess to anyone else, but to the people who created it it's an organized masterpiece. "Duh, the spare change is in the right back corner and the crazy straws are in the little bowl in the middle." Things get put in and things get taken out. We know where everything is and where everything will ever be in that drawer. Thinking about this junk drawer, quite in-depth might I add, sparked an image in me. Life is essentially one big junk drawer. It feels like a mess from point A to point B and we are lost at every turn. That's because we didn't create it. The good news is that God created this junk drawer we call our life and He knows where everything in that drawer has been, is, and will be. Everything may look like a mess to us but in the eyes of the Creator our lives are an organized masterpiece. We spend so much time looking in the drawer itself for answers; Where is my purpose? Where do I need to go next? Where is my future spouse? So what do you do when you can't find something in the junk drawer? You look to the one who created it. It's time we stop looking for a needle in the haystack of life. Life is messy and chaotic and it causes us to need a nap. We can never dig through it all and find what we are looking for unless we look to the One who knows our lives forwards, backwards, and inside out. P.S. If you are as passionate about the junk drawer in your house as I am, let's talk. Or if you want to discuss your metaphorical junk drawer of life we can do that too. I love both conversations. An autobiography of fear:
"Hi, my name is Fear. F-E-A-R. But you are going to call me a lot of other things as you start to get closer to me. I'm terribly unoriginal. I'm like every has-been out there, but you give me way more credit than I deserve. You should keep doing that. I like it when you make me bigger than I actually am. I'm going to make you feel alone, and I like it when you believe you're the only one who's ever felt this way. You think I'm custom-catered to fit you, but I'm really no different than the brand of me your best friend wears. I'm a ballad lurking in the hearts of a billion people, and I will do anything to keep you from realizing that I am just the same song on repeat. You know all my words. I'm pretty jealous though. I want you alone with me at night. I'm not afraid to say I'm greedy or that I don't want to share you. I'm a territorial lover, and I would rather you not have solid and deep conversations at dinner parties or find a community that doesn't leave your side. I wrote you a story a long time ago, and I don't want you to figure out that you've outgrown the plotline. I wonder why you don't get over me sometimes, but then the realization hits me: You come back because you know I want you. You come back because you know the sound of my voice. You come back because you know the way I move and how I shut you down. You've stood face-to-face with me so many times and I've told you who you are. The crazy thing is, you've believed me." ~ Come Matter Here by Hannah Brencher ~ When I first read this I realized two things: 1. Wow, what an accurate representation of what fear feels like and does. 2. Fear is weak and insecure. What a noob. Hannah mentions in the same chapter of the book that fear is like an overzealous Monopoly player. It likes to build properties and territory all over the areas of your life; your career, finances, relationships, spirituality. Chances are likely that fear has been a part of all of our stories. Not only that, but fear has become a friend to us. Someone familiar that keeps us in our comfort zone. Yes it's true that fear can be good for keeping us safe in dangerous situations, but it also has a reputation for holding us back from growing. We grow the most and learn the best things when we go out of our comfort zone. When fear keeps us from stepping out of our comfort zone, we are letting fear stop us from becoming who we are meant to be. I've talked a lot about fear and anxiety on this blog and it's because I, like so many others, have gone through seasons where I let fear control my life. Fear makes us feel so small and then it makes us feel ashamed of feeling that way. It's a vicious cycle that fear loves to keep us in the same place forever. Fear doesn't like when we open up and surround ourselves with good people that love us because fear knows that once love comes into the picture it's over. Fear doesn't like when we take the next step because fear knows that we are going to grow into something better. Fear doesn't like when we love who we are because fear knows that once we discover who we are we don't let fear tell us who we are anymore. Fear doesn't like when we step away from it because that's when fear loses all of its power. So a couple things I want to remind you of as you battle fear in your life. 1. Discover the root of your fear. Fear takes something with an often simple solution and makes it feel like this huge mountain you can't get over. Once we put things into perspective and see what the fear actually is, we can assess it and conquer it easier. 2. Surround yourself with people who love you. AND open up to them. It can be hard to talk about fear to other people. It can make you feel weak. But I promise you, once you open up you will see that there is a world of people out there who feel the same way you do. You can build each other up and in the end you will be stronger than you have ever been before. Fear is worthless in the face of love. 3. Take steps every day to not let fear win. Whatever that looks like in your life. Whether you take a big step that requires a huge leap of faith or you just talk to one new person every day, take a step out of your comfort zone. Small steps are good. Big steps are good too. Start where you need to and keep moving, don't let fear keep you from becoming who you were created to be. If it makes it easier, choose a close friend to walk with you in this. Have someone to talk about things with and to celebrate your successes with. Have someone to pray over you as you take those steps to defeat fear if your life. I'd love to be that person if you'd like me to so just send me a message! I love friends so if you ask me to get coffee or something I will pretty much always say yes! It's time to kick fear in the butt! Who's ready? |